The Great Climate Farce

Climate Expert Greta Thunberg just called.

She asked me how I intended to contribute to the planet’s well-being, so I asked her what she thought was most needed. She suggested that I make an immediate donation to the vanishing Polar Ice cap.

For some strange reason, she hung up on me right after I told her that I had at least five or six ice cube trays in the refrigerator that she could have if they wanted to send someone over from Madrid to get them in her huge, chartered media personality filled fossil fuel guzzling Airbus, once she finishes her seventh grade lectures to child worshiping grown men and women who should be ashamed of themselves for being a part of this pseudo scientific farce.

Just think how mad she will get if she has to get a job in a few years if she ends up helping them succeed in securing a unilateral treaty that supersedes the US Constitution and forces every human being on earth to pay an Atmospheric Air Access Tax. We could call it an A A A Tax! Well, almost every human would pay it (except those who exempt themselves for administrative purposes).

And since we've already voluntarily surrendered our privacy rights by putting all of our personal business and photos of ourselves naked on these easily manipulated devices because we didn't want anyone to see them, this tax could even be fairly enforced through your Petroleum based Plastic Cell Phone, whose network must use unimaginable amounts of electrical power that must be produced by using both Nuclear and Coal fired energy plants among other things.

Oh the hypocrisy. What you say is that we must care for and protect the environment, but your actions show that it’s really just another attempt at you ruling the world through misplaced false guilt and responsibility placed by you, the self proclaimed messiahs, onto the backs of every ordinary citizen.

Well Greta, as an adult who was actually alive and present during the period in which everything you use but complain about was built, I also want a clean planet, So, I’ll make you a deal. I will agree with any suggestion to help the planet that can be accomplished without spending money. But your answer will always be the same. No to making companies clean up their messes. No to fines for governments who don't provide healthy standards, no, no, no. Your answer is always the same. Individuals who have not done diddly squat in harming the environment must once again carry the load by being forced to give money to some form of government entity who cannot manage to wipe their own behind.

Of course I already know your answer. Once you take the money out of the equation, suddenly your dramatic superior relationship to mommie earth will quickly dissolve and you’ll have to get a real job like the rest of us.

Until then, go home girl and be a kid. The planet is going to be okay. After all, my God owns it and I’m pretty sure He can handle it. But I'm sure you and your intellectually superior buddies probably have some advice for Him too.